Considering the A-word
(Wait for sex?!)
Abstinence, or waiting
to have sex until marriage, carries such a stigma. If you want to wait, or to
start over and wait for sex, it seems that popular culture tells us that you
are sexually unhealthy, ultra-religious, or just plain weird. We are fed by
the media and by popular culture the idea that sex is a liberating, free-for-all,
feel good, fun time with anybody anytime as long as both consent; anybody who
tells you otherwise is sexually repressed. The fact is this free-for-all
sexual revolution isn't free at all - there is a great price we pay. Check out
some recent sex facts:
Half of sexually
active people between the ages of 15 and 24 have an STD (sexually transmitted
disease). 1
One of the most
popular STD's, HPV (associated with genital warts) causes 99% of the cervical
cancer in women. 2
HIV/AIDS, herpes, and
HPV have no cure. Even the STD's for which you can get treatment may still
cause a lot of damage.
Condoms break or slip
off 15.1% of the time and they provide little or no protection against HPV-the
most common and communicable STD. 3
You can get every
STD, including HIV/AIDS, from oral sex. 4
You can get herpes
and HPV just by intimate skin-to-skin contact. 5
You can get pregnant
using the pill, shot, condoms, or other forms of birth control. (1 in 100
women will get pregnant in the first year of using the birth control pill as
directed. The average use of the pill results in 3 in 100 unintended
pregnancies). 6
Memories from past
relationships can cause jealousy, competition, anger and hurt.
You may experience a
less satisfying sexual relationship in marriage due to how you may have used
someone for sex, how someone used you for sex, or because you have had multiple
partners, sex may become boring with your spouse. 7
You may experience
spiritual consequences: when you are living in a way that contradicts your
belief system, you are living a lifestyle that is not true to yourself, and
therefore can cause turmoil in your soul and block your relationship with God.
You may experience
emotional consequences: when you breakup after uniting with someone sexually,
whether in a committed relationship or a one-night hookup, deep emotional hurt
can result, such as guilt, regret, mistrust, and loss of respect.
Unwise sexual
decisions can sabotage future goals and dreams. You are worthy of the
opportunity to live out your dreams.
Sex is fun and it feels great, but if taken out of the
right context - a committed, selfless relationship only found in marriage - you
are setting yourself and your future family, up for obstacles and possible pain
in the future. Waiting for sex until marriage, or deciding to start over if
you've been sexually active, is the wisest choice for your sexual health, your
physical health, your emotional health, and your spiritual health. It's not
always easy to wait; in fact it's pretty hard. If you want to wait, or to
start over and wait, you are going to have to make some decisions. Here are a
few ways to help you stick with your decision to wait:
- Make the decision to wait and share that decision with someone you trust.
- Find someone you can talk to and rely on to keep you accountable.
- Set boundaries for yourself - decide how far you will go, and remember, the
farther you go, the harder it is to stop.
- Stay away from tempting situations and/or places that could cause you to compromise your decision.
- Remember that you have self-control - use it!
Your sexuality is
valuable and has an infinite amount of worth and power. Why not consider
embracing it, protecting it, saving it, and valuing it? Your sexuality is
valuable. Hold on to that truth and live in light of it.
References
1. Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health
Volume 36, Number 1, January/February 2004
2. Cervical Cancer: A Very Preventable Disease
Retrieved May 5, 2004, from
http://www.meridianhealth.com/index.cfm/mediarelations/news/womenshealth/feb2003.cfm
3.
James Trussel, et al., "Condom Slippage and Breakage Rates" Family Planning Perspectives, Vol. 24, No. 1, Jan/Feb 1992,
pp. 20-23
4. Risk of Contracting HIV through oral sex could be greater than previously believed (2001). Retrieved May 5, 2004,
from http://www.kaisernetwork.org/daily_reports/print_report.cfm?DR_ID=5630&dr_cat=1
5. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services - Public
Health Service, Rockville, MD 20857; The Upjohn Company; Contraceptive
Technology by R. Hatcher et al, Chapter 4, 16th Revised Ed., 1994; Medical
Institute for Sexual Health, P. O. Box 4919, Austin, TX, 78765;
MedicineNet.com; Centers for Disease Control (CDC). [Electronic version].
6. Apri, typical pack of birth control pills, manufactured by Barr Laboratories, Inc.
Revised February 2002
7. http://members.aol.com/cohabiting/soc.htm
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